


Magic Happy Frogs

by Faceworthy



Category: Original Work
Genre: Australia, Birndabella, F/M friendship, Friendship, Humor, author thinks she's funny, frog licking, magic frogs, thoughts of mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 17:29:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11605431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faceworthy/pseuds/Faceworthy
Summary: Emily is tricked out f her house by her soon-to-be-ex-friend that drags her on an adventure in search of a frog that he heard about from his meth addict cousin.





	Magic Happy Frogs

“What the hell are we doing out here Michael?”

 

“We are catching frogs.”

 

Emily looked at him and wondered whether prison would be worth hitting him over the head with the net she was armed with until he was right and properly dead.

  She sucked at her front teeth while she considered her options and with a sigh decided she should wait until she was sure she could get away with it.

 “Why are we looking for frogs?”

 

He looked at her, momentarily suspending his inspection of a large collection of mushrooms. His face was disappointed and confused, as though he seriously thought she was the dumb one in that situation.

 “Because we need to lick them.” He stated then turned back to the mushrooms with air of finality.

 

Emily closed her eyes and leaned on the net, rubbing her forehead she counted back down from 10 in the form of all the places she knew she could hide another body.

 “You brought me all the way out to God only knows where-“

 

“We’re in the Brindabella’s.”

 

“So that you can lick frogs? And why are we in the Brindabella’s!?!”

 

“No. It’s so that **_we_** can lick frogs. There’s no I in Team Emily.”

 

“But the is a U in Murder,” Emily muttered, traipsing after him as he hurried along some imaginary path deeper into the bush.

 “So are we going to the beach today or was everything a lie?”

 

“A Lie,” Michael admitted without even the slightest trace of apology, or shame or even a bother.

 Emily swung the net at him and got in a solid hit to his shoulder.

 

“Why do I even bother with you anymore!?” She exclaimed, taking another go at him, but missing and hitting a tree instead.

 The hit shook the slim trunk and in a panic a small green frog leaped from its hiding place just above where she’d hit and Michael dived for it in an act of most unusual grace and speed.

 

“Gotcha you bugger!” he chanted gleefully on his knees, the frog cupped in his hands and in one movement, almost as graceful as his dive, he stuck his tongue out and ran it up the back of the slimy little creature.

 

Emilys disgust was almost tangible in the air, second only to the disgust of the frog, that seemed as offended by the display as any normal person ought to be.

 Michael didn’t seem too worried about the 15 or 16 ways he could now be diseased, or that Emily was gagging behind him. He was just very disappointed.

 “Not this one either.” He sighed, releasing the frog onto the tree, where it leaped away from him and into the scrub, where Emily was sure it had turned and shaken a mucussey fist at him before disappearing.

 

“What the fuck are you thinking Michael? Did you say either? As in, you’ve done this before? What the hell is wrong with you, you sick fucking twit of a thing?”

“I just wanted to get the magic frog.” He said sheepishly, as if just now realising how stupid all of it was. “My cousin Gary told me that there was a frog in the Brindabella’s that would make you eternally happy if you licked it.”

 

“Is this the cousin Gary that is high off meth every other fucking day?” Emily asked, her voice raising to a shriek.

 

Michael slouched, eyes downcast and his usually chipper attitude turn low. “I just thought that maybe if you could lick it you would laugh again.” He said quietly. “I haven’t heard it since, well, you know.”

 

Emily’s irritation did not disperse and she felt in no way more okay with her current situation. Michael was an idiot yes, but he was a friend all the same. So while she wasn’t any less angry, it was over powered by her love of the idiot before her.

 

With an angry groan she slapped her own face and rubbed all over in an attempt to talk herself out of it. “We should find water. Frogs like water.”


End file.
